Random Thoughts: Majirani (Neighbours)

We have a new neighbour. She loves to sing aloud. She sings off key. She is a new bride. She peeps through our window at our house. She is the irritating type.

I am struggling to be indifferent.

The husband built a beautiful modern house to the west of our place, she moved in on Saturday and I have had enough of her already. The radio (the electric one and the one on her throat) are on promptly at 6 in the damn a.m and only go off at 7pm in time for the news (on full blast). I like her confidence. Lets wait this out, its only the honeymoon anyway. Here's a toast to a new neighbour!

You see, for the longest time we have not had a next door neighbour, they were all safe distances away in that we stayed out of each other's shit.

To the south there was the sparingly mad old woman, Kamedi, a really strange woman; hanging cups on trees with strings, carrying a mean knife in full view of everyone, climbing the avocado tree at the border to chase away kids who had come to steal her avocados, throwing matusis at anyone she chooses and the worst of them all: confronting and engaging my mom in verbal war. Hehe she was once given a beating like this mpaka from that day she took a vow of silence, only a few times strutting her (old) stuff in a very LOUD matching ngotha and bra, sunbathing under the mapera tree then hitting the sauna in her kitchen ya nje ya mabati( we used to call it a kiln). Haha I will never forget the bikini scene!

Kamedi, part of me misses her drama the other part is thankful my heart does not make so many beats at her mere sight, with her kiondo on her back and that shiny stainless steel blade and handle knife on one hand by her head as she held on to the kiondo handle/rope? She once called me a ding'oing'o (lol) I don't know what its called in English, it's a big fat black flying insect, it makes holes on wood and lives there and it makes a buzzing sound. Anyone know it's name?

Too bad her relatives decided to relieve her of her land and sent her to Mathari Hospital then claimed ''hizo dawa zinamharibu'' before shipping her to Murang'a or some other place. I don't really think she was 'mad mad' seeing as she was independent et al although the grapevine had it that she had killed her two kids and husband then buried them under her house or something. Cock and bull tales. Kamedi, come to think of it I never really knew her real name, probably no one did. Well, your relatives have been taking good care of your land and were harvesting maize today, or was it napier grass?


To the south east were kina Muiru Chi, loosely translated to Mweusi Ti, hehe. His complexion was really rich, really really rich and he had this really red tongue and lips and eyes. Theme, or is scheme: black and red, African and Dangerous.
It's alleged that they were a generation of thieves, petty thieves. He was the 2nd generation. He had a brother and a sister. That compound always had kids, many many kids. The eldest kid is called Tumaini.
Word has it that kina Muiru Chi's dad sold the land they were living on right before he died. They were recently evicted. From my room I got to see them packing their belongings as they left. The bed had only three legs (matendeguu) and the matress, well, it had 'seen life' I got to see some chairs and other things they had relieved our family of. Sad.

I remember a particular night when the proverbial 40th day (or year for that matter) came, we heard screams from the valley; na huko where grass is literally green, the food basket (hehe)of the area, then minutes later what seemed to be heavy footsteps uphill and my mom shouting from the window ''ii aya marorete bara nene'' translating to ''They are headed to the main road.'' Dogs barked in the distance.

Muiru Chi was caught and part of his head and hand sliced off. He had been caught harvesting kales and sukuma wiki and loading them in gunias ready for sale. The next day was market day. The others had escaped unhurt. He was arrested and later released for lack of evidence, I kid.
Years came and went (hehe), sometimes we would hear of a similar case of petty theft. Anyway, they were evicted after some time. I was glad they were gone. I still see Tumaini sometimes.


To west our west lives Drama. He deserves a whole blogpost on his own.