Learning Something New

It's amazing how much you can learn about yourself by listening to people who know you talk about you.

No, I am not talking about the behind-your-back whispers that suddenly hush when you appear then someone makes a remark about the weather or some other safe topic. Neither am I talking about those people who know you juu juu or those people who's dose of daily bread must come from kissing asses and lying to keep friends or to protect feelings or some other vague shit.

I am talking of someone who you can be yourself around, that person who you find yourself telling all the crazy things you've done, that person who you would not hesitate to lock up in a room if you thought they might meet harm or hurt if they went...ok maybe not to that extreme but you get my drift. I am talking about that person you always miss and call when something, anything happens in your life.

I am blessed to have such a friend. He is arguably the coolest guy I have ever known, very mature in mannerism and speech and out poken too. He is that guy I hang around with in campo, the guy I would call up instead of taking an afternoon nap. He is interesting to be around and does not sugar coat anything, hurt feelings or bruised egos. He calls it like he sees it, I respect him alot for that. Of course we do not agree on most things, but hey, that's what makes it so lovely. We talk about everything under the sun, literally everything. We are alike in so many ways but yet all so different.

You must be thinking that we are in love, and probably that is true, but not in the erotic sense of the word, we connect at a higher level of utmost openness and acceptance, a mutual understanding and tolerance, an acme of friendship, if ever one exists.

I love him as I love my own brother, but he won't let me call him bro, hell he won't let anyone call him bro. Ati he is not our brother, and he would rather even be called 'dude' To him the term 'dude' is down there at the basement of derogatorium, together with those juicy names like honeypie, cuppycake, sweetheart, junior, simba(for dogs) etc

ok I seem to be losing direction here, ahem

Today we had a conversation on phone, he asked me how I was doing and I said I've never been better.

'Ni pombe?' I tell him my life has been so good lately mpaka I stopped drinking.

'Ok, so what is it? Money?' I made a joke about me needing a loan from him before we continue with the conversation and we both laughed it off.

Ever so persistent he asked, 'So you're getting some, eh?' I gave a kinda sorta answer, laughed it off and changed the subject. It's bad enough to be surviving a dry spell without someone mentioning it to me! We talked more then hung up.

I later started thinking about it, here was the guy who knew me best (I think) talking to me about myself and I failed to recognise the me in that. Am I that shallow?

Ok, I admit that for the most part all I ever talk about is booze and money and...argh, I refuse to torture myself with that word! All that shallow stuff (oh it hurt to admit that)But like everyone else, I mostly talk but don't walk, hehe ok who am I kidding.. For the most part at least, it's the big kid who can't really fight, but no one except him knows that and so no one dares challenge him? C'mon you know what I'm talking about! Right??

Sometimes we project an image that is not really us, or at least we don't want to believe it is us, to those around us, it is usually a different reflection for every other mirror...and when your favourite mirror looks back at you and you can't recognise yourself...you break the mirror damnit!! Hehe ok maybe you don't, you come out of your skin, you reflect the inner soul on the said mirror, if it's still blurry you gently wipe the mirror...


... and voila!!